In Part 1, we talked about how to move forward when you don’t receive an apology or accountability. Now, I want to share how this issue hit close to home for me, particularly in my relationship with my mom before I started therapy.
Growing up, I experienced deep trauma at the hands of my biological father. Although I wasn’t blaming my mother for what he had done, I was holding her accountable for not protecting me once she knew the truth. To this day, she’s still with him, and that choice haunted me for so long.
For years, I craved an apology from her—one that was rooted in real accountability. But what I received felt like a hollow acknowledgment, wrapped in excuses. I heard things like, “I guess I failed you because you believe I did,” and it just wasn’t enough. It felt like the apology came with conditions, with the implication that I had to accept her perspective for my feelings to be valid. And for me, that response didn’t carry the weight of true accountability.
Moving Forward Without the Apology I Needed
How do you move forward when the apology you longed for feels so empty, especially when it’s related to something that stole your childhood? Therapy helped me answer that question. I learned that she has the right to choose her actions, and I have the right to choose mine. I couldn’t control her choices—whether she stayed with him or how she processed her role in my trauma—but I could choose how I responded to it.
Turning Pain into Purpose
As I worked through my own journey of healing, I realized something powerful: the very thing that caused me such deep pain is what pushed me into my path of purpose. The hurt, the trauma, the lack of accountability—it all became the driving force behind my decision to show up better, not just for myself, but for others.
What was once my burden has now become my mission: to help others who are where I once was, to provide the support, the empathy, and the tools that I didn’t always have. My healing wasn’t just for me—it was for every person who is still waiting for the apology, still feeling stuck in their pain, still holding onto what could have been. I’ve transformed my hurt into healing, and in doing so, I’ve stepped into the role of a #HealedHelper.
Becoming a #HealedHelper
Today, I stand as proof that you can #heal4real without an apology, that you can move forward even when you feel like the accountability never came. My journey taught me that healing isn’t about what you receive from others—it’s about what you choose to give to yourself. And now, I’m here to help others make that same choice.
“Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that healing doesn’t just set you free—it empowers you to be a light for others. And that’s a purpose greater than any apology could ever provide.” — Shae Pratcher
