On the journey to #heal4real, one of the greatest responsibilities we owe ourselves is to discern who can truly handle us—beyond the surface, beyond the shallow waters. Some people will only ever engage with the version of you that’s easy to digest, but as we heal and grow, we must open ourselves up to the reality that not everyone is meant to swim in the deeper currents of who we are.
It’s important to understand that shallow connections often revolve around the parts of us that are easy to manage—our accomplishments, light conversations, or fleeting moments. These relationships may be based on convenience or superficial interests.
People who are only comfortable with the shallow side will:
- Engage in surface-level conversations, avoiding any real depth or vulnerability.
- Avoid or dismiss the complexities of your emotions, struggles, and growth.
- Celebrate the easy wins but disappear when you need support for deeper, more personal challenges.
- Prioritize their comfort over your growth, urging you to ‘stay the same’ to keep the relationship convenient for them.
However, true growth happens in the deeper parts of us—the spaces where healing occurs, where we confront our pain, dreams, and fears. Deeper relationships require a willingness to be vulnerable and authentic, not just when it’s convenient, but in every moment.
People who embrace the deeper parts of us will:
- Stand with you in difficult times, even when it’s uncomfortable for them.
- Actively listen, support, and validate your experiences as you heal and evolve.
- Encourage your growth, even when it means challenging the status quo or redefining the relationship.
- Understand that the journey to #heal4real is not linear and will be there for both the highs and the lows.
Discerning the difference between these two types of connections is crucial because, as we heal, we need to surround ourselves with people who can support the full spectrum of who we are, not just the parts that are easy for them to accept.
Acknowledging this difference is an act of self-love and responsibility. It requires discernment, a commitment to boundaries, and a recognition that not everyone is meant to journey with us into the deep waters of healing.
So, how do we discern?
It begins with mindfulness. Pay attention to how people respond to your vulnerability. Do they lean in with empathy and understanding, or do they shy away, hoping you’ll gloss over the deeper conversation? Do they push you toward growth, or do they cling to a version of you that no longer exists?
As you decide to take this journey and #heal4real, give yourself permission to release those who are only capable of handling the shallow parts of you. Doing so creates space for deeper, more meaningful connections that honor the entirety of who you are—flaws, strengths, wounds, and all. You deserve to be seen in your fullness, and that starts with surrounding yourself with those who can appreciate the depth of your journey.
“It’s time to swim deeper. Don’t be afraid to let go of those who can only float.” – Coach Shae Pratcher
Don’t Stop. Don’t Settle. Keep Stepping.
